So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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