dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Randomize
