I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
