I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize