I love watching others lives come down to our level.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
