my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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