how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
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I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
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Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
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