Please, let me fuck your mom
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
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He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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