Fuck appropriateness.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
