Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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