i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
The beers last night were like the tears from god
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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