tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
