I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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