If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
