remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
