took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize