Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
