it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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