i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Oh god it's open bar.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize