Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
