i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
operation harelip BJ is a go
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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