just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
