i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
His hands were made for my vagina.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
