I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
