just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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