I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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