I want to make a zoo with you.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
