I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
