i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
there's paper in my vomit.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
