So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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