My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
