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walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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