Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
