he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm too high and old for this...
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
