i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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