I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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