and she was petting her beer can
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
