slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
