did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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