so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
