i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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