I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
i came on her dog
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
