i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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