first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
