you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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