We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
i think i just lost a toe
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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