Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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