guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
