is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Randomize
