last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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