I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Acid is not a monday night drug
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Randomize
