How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
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We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
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Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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