A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize