i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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