no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Randomize
