My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
