Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
i've created a new STD.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
